


what is; what is not.

by daylightfalls



Category: Fleetwood Mac (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1528229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daylightfalls/pseuds/daylightfalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a reflection on the triangle, through kristen's eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what is; what is not.

They think you’re like her, but you’re not. You’ve got nothing on her. Maybe in your wildest dreams you can be like her, but you know in reality you’re just a shitty imitation. Maybe you tried to become her one day because you wanted him to love you like he loves her, but he never has. You wish people looked at you the way they look at her, but after years of trying, you’re no competition. You’ll never be competition for her.

They think you hate her, but you don’t. You can’t. You’ll never be her best friend, but you can’t hate her, despite the misguided comments and how frequently she crosses boundary lines (it’s probably your fault for continuously letting her, so you can’t even blame her for that). You know  deep down, she means no harm and you can see the love and affection she has for your family.

They think your marriage secures you to him, but it doesn’t. They think you’re happy, that you’ve “won” this game you play with her. It’s your name on the marriage license, after all. You have his kids, you have his bank account, you have his name, but you’ll never have his heart. You know he’ll never be able to give you all of himself, because so much of him is embedded in her. You knew this long before the wedding, but you still married him anyway.

They think he doesn’t love you, but he does. Maybe he doesn’t love you as a whole, but he loves the idea of you and what you’ve given to him. He loves you dearly for the calmness and stability you’ve been able to provide. He’s happy with you, and you know how much you mean to him. You’re not a wildfire.

They think that once the kids are grown, you’ll divorce him, but you won’t. They think he might go back to her, but he won’t. He knows damn well it’d be a roller coaster again, and he’s too old to start that up now. He’ll settle for monotonous days with you filled with small talk of weather and gardening rather than risk his sanity and try for her again. It’s never worked before, why would time change that? He’ll live his little fantasy with her occasionally, but he’ll come back to you.

One day, she thanks you. Your mind is blown at first – _what could she possibly have to thank you for?_ – but she explains. She tells you that she sees a light in him she has never seen before, and she thanks you for everything you were able to give him. Everything she could never give to him. She gets a little choked up when she tells you that she sees a side of him she never knew, and how beautiful it is. She understands how much his life with you means to him, and she appreciates you. Her sincerity is almost tangible.

And it’s in that moment you finally realize how you differ from her – you’ll never be her, but you can be everything she’s not. And maybe that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to play devil's advocate and go against my own beliefs about the S/L relationship, and attempt to see things through Kristen's eyes. I'm not a fan of Kristen, nor will I ever be, but I tried to put that aside for this. Basically, I have no fucking idea what came out of my brain.


End file.
